- Creed-fusion – What you experience when, even though you have been a Catholic all your life, you still get the words to the Apostles' Creed and the Nicene Creed mixed up.
- Genu-sec – The awkward second or two it takes for you and the person next to you to decide who is going to put down the kneeler so you can kneel for the consecration.
- Bowch – What happens when you and the person next to you both bend at the same time to put down the kneeler and you bonk heads.
- Straddle-flect – This is what happens when you have picked a seat between two kneelers and you have to kneel with one knee on one kneeler and the other knee on another.
- Pew-nesia – When you come back after Communion and you forgot which pew you were just in.
- Pax-ymoron – Why is it that the Sign of Peace is the least peaceful time at Mass?
- Slo-mo-fertory – You can't keep the school children from running in the hallway but when it comes time for them to bring forward the offertory gifts at the school Mass it takes them forever to come down the aisle.
- Recon-silly-ate – How you feel when you turn around to give the sign of peace and nobody is in the pew behind you.
- Bweffus – The first words of your prayer before dinner when the host begins to lead grace and you already have food in your mouth, as in "Bweffus, O Lord..."
- Telepa-prayer – Since Catholics don't believe in telepathy, these are the silent signals we all send out when everybody knows what the altar server should be doing except the altar server.
- Ob-sin-ity – The cuss word you mutter when you realize that you have committed a sin and it hasn't even been ten minutes since you left the confessional, commensurate to language you use when you get a scuff on a brand new pair of shoes.
The spell-check on my computer is not Catholic. It doesn’t recognize perfectly good, properly spelled words like "kyrie eleison" and "mystagogy." So I decided really to confound my spell-check. I made up some new Catholic words. Feel free to use any of these in your daily conversations: